The Anti-Bucket List

Over the years I’ve started numerous blogs, and thought about starting even more. I always get hung up on the idea of the first post. It’s a lot of pressure, right? I mean, it sets the tone for the entire blog (or is supposed to, anyway), and what if I completely screw it up? Worse, what if the first post is brilliant, but then I can’t top it? What if everyone judges me? And over and over again in my brain…

So if it’s not apparent from that first paragraph, I deal with sometimes-crippling anxiety. It sucks, it’s a pain in the ass, and I’m completely unable to talk myself out of it. Often, it prevents me from doing things I really, really want to do (write, quit my job, start singing again, etc.). 

There are,  however, several things that I have absolutely no desire to do, ever. Anxiety doesn’t have anything to do with this, I just simply don’t want to do those things. Which brings me to the topic of this post:  the anti-bucket list! I originally saw this on Jenny Trout’s blog, and I thought it was brilliant. I mean, come on, we always talk about the shit we really want to do, but we never talk about those things that we never ever want to ever try, right? 

So here goes!

• Bungee Jump/Sky Dive:  I’m not afraid of heights or planes. I am afraid of my parachute not opening, my bungee cord breaking, and my retinas detaching. 

• Fly on a Malaysian plane anywhere over the ocean in Southeast Asia:  Hmm, NOPE. I’d rather not end up dead at the bottom of the ocean in a plane crash, thankyouverymuch. So no Southeast Asian vacation for me. 

• Take a Cruise: I honestly don’t understand why people like cruises. I really don’t. Part of this is my claustrophobia, and yes, I know that cruise ships are big, but just the idea that you can’t get off the ship until they dock is terrifying to me. Also, I get motion sick, so there’s that, and I hear the food’s usually pretty shitty. But what freaks me out most of all about cruise ships is that they are basically giant germ cesspools. They are disgusting. How many norovirus cases do you hear about every year from cruise ships? EXACTLY.  (Also, themed cruises are weird. #sorrynotsorry.) 

• Go to Disney World on vacation. As an adult. With no children:  Ok, so a Facebook friend from high school took at trip to Disney World with her husband and literally posted around 600 pictures (and yes, I’m using “literally” correctly). I mean…why? I seriously don’t get it. It’s Disney. They’re cartoons, and it’s people dressed up as cartoon characters…I don’t know. For the record, I don’t get cosplay either, so maybe that’s why I don’t get this.  Also, too many children which means GERMS again (can you tell I’m a germaphobe?). And lots and lots of people, which makes my socially-anxious self just shiver. It sounds like a fucking nightmare. 

I'm fairly convinced that this first post was not anywhere near brilliant. I'm hoping I set the bar low enough that perhaps my subsequent posts will be fairly interesting, or at least make people think I've improved as a writer (like people are even going to read this! Ha!). But if you are reading this, what would be on your anti-bucket list?